Tue, Jul 20, 2010
All these politicians want to give me back my freedom and protect me from the federal government. I receive social security and medicare. I drive on federal highways and the government insures that my beer and sardines are pure. Hell, I love the federal government!
-Submitted by Mendell Walker
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I'm upset with my neighbor who is still mad at me for chasing away his yapping dog. I had the flu and a headache and I couldn't take it any more.
I think my neighbor's teenage son has a lot of nerve for sneaking my teenage daughter into his bedroom in the middle of the night.
I'm waiting for the person who keeps stealing my Sunday Morning paper - in the bushes with a shotgun...
It burns me up that iced tea in Northern restaurants is never sweetened. We shouldn't offer Yankees unsweetened tea in our Southern restaurants.
I can't stand those two American Picker guys that come on the Discovery Channel after Pawn Stars. They should run two episodes of Pawn Stars in a row and get rid of those two losers.
Why do we celebrate Independence Day when we are so dependent on our government?
Many thanks to the businesses who leave their neon "open" sign on when they're closed. I always feel like such an idiot when I walk into their locked doors.
Q: Do you know what really burns my tail?
A: A flame about three feet high.
A bitchin’ Marine is a happy Marine.
Yeah! Where’s my stimulus check? I done voted for Obama four times and I still ain’t seen it.