I’m a small, skinny guy. I’m so skinny, when I turn sideways and stick out my tongue, I look like a zipper. The only reason I’ve survived this long can only be due to my Over-sized Napoleonic Complex. Not that I mind being this size. And I never really feel small except when I’m shaking […]
Saturday, July 24, 2010
What snaps my straps is trying to find decent undergarments for a decent woman. All the bras are uplift this and uplift that. If I uplifted these sweet things they would smother me to death. You take twenty bras into the dressing room. You can only find two suitable to buy. You take them home […]
Monday, July 19, 2010
I tell you right now, nothing gets my goat worse than hearing some ol’ broad with her hair dyed red down at my local Circle K telling me to “Have a Good One!” first thing in the morning on my way to the sock factory. Just because she’s been up all night wired on No-Doz […]
A daily guide to manifesting abundance...
I'm upset with my neighbor who is still mad at me for chasing away his yapping dog. I had the flu and a headache and I couldn't take it any more.
I think my neighbor's teenage son has a lot of nerve for sneaking my teenage daughter into his bedroom in the middle of the night.
I'm waiting for the person who keeps stealing my Sunday Morning paper - in the bushes with a shotgun...
It burns me up that iced tea in Northern restaurants is never sweetened. We shouldn't offer Yankees unsweetened tea in our Southern restaurants.
I can't stand those two American Picker guys that come on the Discovery Channel after Pawn Stars. They should run two episodes of Pawn Stars in a row and get rid of those two losers.
Why do we celebrate Independence Day when we are so dependent on our government?
Many thanks to the businesses who leave their neon "open" sign on when they're closed. I always feel like such an idiot when I walk into their locked doors.
Q: Do you know what really burns my tail?
A: A flame about three feet high.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
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