Archive | Retail

Size Doesn’t Matter

Thursday, August 5, 2010


I’m a small, skinny guy. I’m so skinny, when I turn sideways and stick out my tongue, I look like a zipper. The only reason I’ve survived this long can only be due to my Over-sized Napoleonic Complex. Not that I mind being this size.  And I never really feel small except when I’m shaking […]

Snaps My Straps!

Saturday, July 24, 2010

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What snaps my straps is trying to find decent undergarments for a decent woman.  All the bras are uplift this and uplift that.  If I uplifted these sweet things they would smother me to death.  You take twenty bras into the dressing room.  You can only find two suitable to buy.  You take them home […]

Have a Good One!

Monday, July 19, 2010


I tell you right now, nothing gets my goat worse than hearing some ol’ broad with her hair dyed red down at my local Circle K telling me to “Have a Good One!” first thing in the morning on my way to the sock factory. Just because she’s been up all night wired on No-Doz […]

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Complaint Department

Take A Number

  • of all the nerve!I'm upset with my neighbor who is still mad at me for chasing away his yapping dog. I had the flu and a headache and I couldn't take it any more.
  • of all the nerve!I think my neighbor's teenage son has a lot of nerve for sneaking my teenage daughter into his bedroom in the middle of the night.
  • of all the nerve!I'm waiting for the person who keeps stealing my Sunday Morning paper - in the bushes with a shotgun...
  • of all the nerve!It burns me up that iced tea in Northern restaurants is never sweetened. We shouldn't offer Yankees unsweetened tea in our Southern restaurants.
  • of all the nerve!I can't stand those two American Picker guys that come on the Discovery Channel after Pawn Stars. They should run two episodes of Pawn Stars in a row and get rid of those two losers.
  • of all the nerve!Why do we celebrate Independence Day when we are so dependent on our government?
  • of all the nerve!Many thanks to the businesses who leave their neon "open" sign on when they're closed. I always feel like such an idiot when I walk into their locked doors.
  • of all the nerve!Q: Do you know what really burns my tail? A: A flame about three feet high.







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